SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
