She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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