this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
