She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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