i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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