i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
