It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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