Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
