I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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