and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
