i just google imaged poop.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
