Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
