I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
God, I missed his penis.
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