I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
