Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
