After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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