So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
