i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize