I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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