I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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