If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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