Cold hands, warm shart.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
