ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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