Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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