Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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