But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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