So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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