i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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