I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
