After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
