I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
