..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
