Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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