never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
