the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
