do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
