I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
