i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
