hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
