when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
