When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
