There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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