brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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