Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
