My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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