hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
where am i from again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
