smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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