Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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