Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
