I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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