Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
