Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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