After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
