so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
