Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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