dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
foreskin is a definite game changer
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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