did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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