Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
